


I don't see myself lying next to anyone else

by thefangirl9



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:22:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefangirl9/pseuds/thefangirl9
Summary: Set when Nik is about 3. Freya finds out Keelin slept with someone whilst they were broken up.
Relationships: Keelin Malraux & Freya Mikaelson, Keelin Malraux/Freya Mikaelson, Vincent Griffith/Freya Mikaelson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

Keelin looked up at the mirror as she put her scrubs on. Freya lounged on the bed, drinking in the sight of her beautiful wife in the morning. Vincent had just come by to take Nik to nursery, so this was one of the few moments they had alone together. Keelin's phone buzzed on the bedside table. 

"Hey babe, can you see what my phone says?" Freya sighed, breaking away from her thoughts to reach for Keelin's phone. As she read, her face dropped. She stopped dead in her tracks, the warmth from their morning embrace immediately leaving her body. An awful feeling twisted in her gut. 

_Keelin, I know it's been a long time but something brought me back to our night in Lebanon. I miss it and I miss you. Do you miss us too?_

"What does it say, honey?" Keelin called, oblivious to the tumultuous storm that had started brewing in Freya. 

Freya's voice was ice cold. "I don't know. You tell me." 

Keelin frowned and stopped short. She hadn't heard Freya speak to her like that. Ever. Cautious and confused, Keelin replied, "What do you mean? What's wrong?" 

"Who the hell is _Debbie_ and why the hell is she messaging you?" Freya spat as she threw the phone towards her. 

_Oh, shit._

"Freya, you need to understand-" 

"Did you have an _affair_ whilst you were in Lebanon?" Freya's raised voice was laced with emotion. Anger. Betrayal. Hurt. Confusion. She really was confused, because she didn't believe Keelin was capable of doing that. It made zero sense and deep down Freya knew it. But even so, she could feel her heart and her life seconds away from smashing into a million pieces. 

"No! Freya, _of course not_. I would never do that and we both know that. So don't you dare accuse me of doing that." Keelin practically shouted out. After taking a breath and she continued, trying to keep her voice under control. "It was when we had broken up. I know I should I have told you, but you have to understand we went from being broken up to _engaged_ and you had just experienced so much loss, you didn't need that put on you too. And then we went straight into talking about a family and after all that it just felt like ancient history."

Freya's eyes were perfect storms. Her voiced wavered as she asked, "Why? Why did you do it and then come back?" 

Absently, Keelin registered that she should be leaving to start her shift now. But she knew she couldn't walk away from the conversation. She set her bags down. 

"You broke my heart, Freya. You said you didn't want me. What was I supposed to do? When I went back I walked around like an empty shell. I just went through the motions. And so when someone offered a shoulder to cry I took it. That's all she was, Freya. I was just trying to feel something again. I only ever slept with her once and that was just before I found out about Hayley. I knew then that I could never love someone like I love you, Freya."

Freya couldn't believe what she was hearing. "No. No. If you loved me you would have told me. You have known since the moment you met me how important trust is. I don't give a shit if you thought it was ancient history, hiding the fact that it happened, for years, is a betrayal of my trust." 

"Freya, please-" Freya could see Keelin was about to defend herself but she'd had enough of this conversation.

"Go to work, you're going to be late. I don't want to see you for the rest of the day." Keelin felt like she'd been slapped in the face, which she supposed she verbally had. Wincing, Keelin picked up her stuff and left for the hospital. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freya talks to Vincent about it, Keelin picks up Nik from nursery.

A thousand thoughts raced through Freya's mind. The idea of someone else having their hands all over Keelin made her skin crawl. The fact that she had reached out and contacted her. Had Keelin been in contact with her before now? Thinking back to the message it did seem unlikely, but Freya's mind at the moment wasn't in its most logical state. Freya headed for the bar and texted Vincent to meet her there. 

"I'm going to kill that bitch Debbie." Freya announced to Vincent several shots later. 

"To be fair, Freya, you were broken up." Vincent remarked. Seeing Freya's face fall he added, "but she should really have told you about it." 

That got Freya started again. "You know I think that's what upsets me the most. That she _hid_ it from me. For years. For years, she's been lying to me. And the saddest part is, Keelin was the only person in the world I thought would never do that to me. God, I feel like such a fool." 

Vincent hated seeing Freya beat herself up."You're not a fool, Freya. You hear me?" 

"Why the hell did she not tell me then?" 

"I don't know the answer to that Freya but if I were to guess it was coming from a place of love, but maybe also of fear. Love, because the timing wasn't right to tell you, but also fear of losing what you've built by something she felt was in the past." Before Freya could interject Vincent added, "I know that you don't think saying that it's in the past is a great reason, and you're right, it's not great. But it's also not terrible. Especially if you count in the fact that she chose to always be there for you and she never pushed you away despite the fact that you pushed her away time and time again. I mean, before this I was starting to think Keelin was perfect, but something has to give. When your siblings were all here, she was always second and she didn't mind that. _That's_ how much she loves you. So don't go destroying our lives over this. But I think you two have definitely got some talking to do."

***

Keelin couldn't concentrate on anything at work. She was too distracted by how things exploded this morning. She knew she messed up and some distant part of her had known this was going to come back and bite her in her werewolf hinds at some point. She almost told Freya a couple of times, once being their argument hours before the wedding. Because at that point she really almost thought that was it, they were over so she might as well get everything out in the open. But even then, her relationship with Debbie had been so superficial in comparison it didn't even feel worth mentioning, not when Freya had decided stomp on her heart hours before they were going to walk down the aisle. Yeah, her mind had been a bit preoccupied at that point. And then any time before that she was just too happy that they were back together, no, _engaged_ that she selfishly didn't want to ruin it. She supposed that's where she messed up. Seeing Freya's reaction confirmed it. She hated it so much. Keelin was ashamed of herself; she had never messed up this badly with Freya before and she was really worried at what it meant for them. The thought of them not being a _them_ had her stomach in knots. Her two closest colleagues, Dan and Laura, could tell something was bugging her but didn't want to pry and Keelin didn't want to admit to them what had happened. So, when her shift ended she drove to pick up Nik from nursery her mind in a daze. 

When she saw their baby, her heart picked up a little and she plastered on a smile as he leapt into her arms. 

"Hey Nikky!" 

"Mama!" They snuggled some more before Keelin forced herself to draw back and pick up his bag. As they walked to the car, Freya's voice telling her she didn't want to see her bounced around in her head. To be honest, Keelin herself was a bit scared to go back, with no action plan of making the situation any better. So, at the intersection she turned left. 

"Hey, you want to get some ice cream?" Nikky responded with an aggressive nod. When they got to the ice cream bar, Nik looked at his mother. Although he was only 3, he could tell something was wrong. 

"Mama, what's the matter? Why are you sad?" 

Keelin weighed her options. She could lie, but she didn't really want to. Plus, he'd probably figure it out sooner or later when they inevitably went home. 

"Mom and I had a fight." 

"Oh." Nik looked at his ice cream. "My nursery teacher says if you have a fight you have to talk to each other and say sorry. Then everyone's happy again." 

Keelin chuckled at that. "If only life was that simple, baby." Nik looked confused but welcomed his mother mussing his hair. "Come on, let's go." 

***

When they got home, Keelin avoided looking for Freya, deciding it was best to tend to Nik. After feeding him and getting him to bed, Keelin made her way up the stairs, steeling herself for what was to come next. Instead, she saw Freya passed out on the bed, the smell of alcohol coming towards her. Even in sleep, the normally angelic Freya looked upset. Keelin tip toed over to the bed and started putting her wife in the recovery position when she heard Freya say, half asleep, "don't touch me." Okay, that stung, but she supposed she deserved it. After she finished putting her in the safe position, she didn't risk climbing into bed and further upsetting Freya. She went to the couch and tried to sleep but she couldn't, knowing how much of a mess she'd made of things. Looking at Freya, at Nik, she knew she had to do something to fix things. She just didn't know what. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day.

Freya woke up to a pounding headache. Faintly, she could smell some coffee on the bedside table as well as her infamous hangover cure. Freya smiled, remembering how she'd done this for Keelin years ago at the beginning of their friendship. Then she remembered why she had the headache and her smile dissolved. Keelin wasn't in the bed and as Freya looked around she found her lying on the sofa. She looked like she had just fallen asleep and fitfully at that. Freya decided it was best to leave her and go check on Nik. When she reached his room she smiled at the sight of him. Despite everything that had gone on yesterday, she couldn't help but have her spirits lifted when she was around him. It had been a long road, but it had been worth it. After Keelin had convinced her and Freya had convinced Vincent, they had set their plans in motion quickly. Although Freya really hadn't wanted to carry because of last time, Keelin hated the idea of their child being haunted by their first kill like she was if she had carried. So, to give their child their best life, she had carried. The only reason she got through it was because of Keelin, who was with her every step of the way and was the best doctor-wife anyone could wish for.

Well, _used to be_. 

Nik felt her watching him and woke up. "Hey, Mom! I didn't see you yesterday." He said pouting. Freya moved over to the bed. 

"Hey stranger. I know, I'm sorry I missed you." She said as she pulled him into a bear hug. "Come on, do you want to get changed and do your magic lesson now?" 

"Sure!" Nik actually loved his magic lessons and Freya loved giving them. But even during their lesson in the Bell Tower, Freya couldn't focus on their bundle of joy and he could tell. 

"Hey, did you and mama talk about it and say sorry? You didn't did you?" 

"What are you talking about baby?" 

"Mama told me you two had a fight yesterday."

"Oh. She did, huh?" 

"Yeah, she was really sad all day when she picked me up. Even having ice cream didn't make her feel better." Although Freya didn't want to admit it, Freya appreciated knowing that Keelin wasn't happy about the situation either. 

"Aww, baby, don't worry about us, okay? I'll talk to her later and we'll sort it out." Freya lied, putting on a fake smile. Because she was worried about them, she wasn't sure they would talk later and she couldn't really see how they could sort it out. 

"Okay, you promise?" Nik asked. Freya couldn't look him in the eyes and instead changed the subject. 

"Hey, don't you have a play date later on today? Let's get you ready and get going."

*** 

Keelin woke up with a start. She must have nodded off at some point because it was now late in the afternoon. She had a shift soon, that would finish late in the evening. She searched the house for Freya and Nik, before remembering that Nik had a play date now. On her way out, she spotted something and had an idea. She grabbed the old notebook, put it in her bag and headed to work. 

***

Freya wasn't really paying attention to the other parent who was trying to make conversation with Freya. She smiled and nodded at appropriate intervals. 

"How's Keelin?" 

"Fine." She replied shortly. 

"Trouble in paradise? I can't imagine that's possible though."

Freya gave her a tight smile and counted down the seconds until she could leave. She was due to drop Nik off at Vincent's after this. He really was a third parent to Nik. They weren't sure whether to settle for Uncle or Dad, but Vincent had really deserved the father title and not just from a biological point of view. So, Nik spent a considerable amount of time over there and he was always excited to go. Freya felt so grateful that Nik had not just two, but three loving parents for her son. 

When it was time to go, Freya couldn't get out of that house fast enough. 

When they got to Vincent's place Nik practically flew into his arms. 

"Whoa, easy there tiger." Vince laughed kissing his forehead. "Hey, why don't you go the bathroom and I'll be with you in a sec? Love you." With that, Nik zoomed into the house. "Please tell me you've talked to Keelin, Freya."

"....not yet. I need time to think, okay?" 

Vincent sighed. "Okay, fine. Just… Try and think of this from Keelin's point of view too. See you, Freya."

"Goodnight, Vince."

Instead of getting in the car, Freya decided to take a walk to clear her head. She was still trying to wrap her head around it all. Keelin had slept with someone in the few months they had been broken up. Okay, Freya corrected, after she'd dumped Keelin. She knows she was a mess when Keelin left and that had been her own doing. She had never really had time to think about how Keelin had felt. And that hadn't been the first time she'd pushed her away either. At the end of the day, Vincent was right. As much as she hated it, those months Keelin had had every right to be with someone else. So, whilst she could get over the act itself, the next thing to think about was the fact that Keelin had never told her about it. It's not like this was one of Keelin's exes she'd been with before Freya. It was in between Freya, which made a difference. And then another thought occurred to her. She had been so focused on the second half of the text that she forgot about that the text had also said _I miss Lebanon_. She remembered when Keelin had said she felt suffocated by New Orleans. Maybe, Freya's happy life she'd thought she had was a façade. Maybe Keelin missed Lebanon too. Being free in the world, making that difference. She knows Keelin chose her over this when they got married, but Freya had never stopped to wonder whether Keelin regretted the decision, too caught up in her own happiness. She needed to ask Keelin these questions. As if the thought had conjured her up, she spotted Keelin walking across the road. 

"Keelin." Freya called. Keelin stopped in her tracks and turned around to face her. "Look, we need to talk."

"I know. Please just listen to what I have to say." Keelin said as strongly as she could. She barreled on before she lost her nerve. "I'm sorry Freya. I should have told you. And I'm ashamed of the way you found out. That wasn't okay. I know that. I should have told you and instead I lied about it for years. And I know that if I've kept one thing from you, how do you know I'm not keeping something else from you? I know you kept your, um, reserves about having kids from me for years and when you told me I felt cheated on. And I know it hits different for you because of your past and how people have always lied and betrayed you." Keelin rushed. Freya was looking at the ground, her expression unreadable. Keelin continued, "so I was thinking, how can I show you what I was thinking, how my one mistake doesn't discount 10 years of doing right? And then I saw my journal that I had kept from my time in Lebanon. I want you to have it, Freya, and read it."

"What, so I can see how much you hated me and loved your new life that you were making over there? Hard pass."

Keelin's eyes widened in surprise at that. Freya had completely misread what she was saying. "No. See, this is exactly why I want you to have it. You have no idea how I really felt over there. We have never really talked about it. I think it would good for us if we went through it and read it together."

That broke Freya. "You don't have to do that. I don't have to read it, it's your personal thoughts and feelings." 

"I know I don't have to. But I want to. Because marriage is about trust and I trust you with that information. It might be painful for both of us at some points, but I think it's something we have to work through. Together."

Freya was quiet for a few moments. Eventually, she asked, "did you reply to her?". When she saw Keelin's confused face she rolled her eyes. " _Debbie_."

To be honest, the thought hadn't even really crossed her mind. She had been way too stressed about Freya. 

"No, I haven't. What do you want me to reply?" 

"The truth. If you miss Lebanon, her, then... that's fine. I just want you to be happy, Keelin."

Keelin took a step forward towards Freya. "The truth, Freya is this. I would choose my current life a thousand times over. Yes, I was making an impact there, but here, with you and Vince, our baby is getting to make an impact on me. And I get to wake up every day with the woman I love and she makes me so happy. I don't see myself lying next to anyone else for the rest of my life." Towards the end of her monologue she'd taken Freya's hands in her own. After waiting a beat for her message to be delivered, she kissed Freya, soft and open. When she pulled away she saw the look of longing and love in Freya's eyes and kissed her again, this time trying to convey all her passion and love for her. Freya kissed her back just as hard. When they pulled apart she was a little breathless. 

"I'm sorry too, Keelin. I overreacted and acted like an absolute ass to you the last couple of days. And I'm sorry about how I treated you in the past. I really am. Nothing breaks my heart more. You're right, the best way to move on from it is to go through it together. So, let's do it."

Keelin searched Freya's eyes."I love you."

"Love you too."


End file.
